Through the corona ("crown") virus my insights about crowns
I have received what I would call crowns at least 3 times in my life. And all times I reacted very negatively. The first time this happened was when I got married to Linas and got the surname "Queen". Everyone said "what a beautiful last name". And it seemed to me "what nonsense" - it seemed to me that the word "queen" somehow exalted someone above someone else, and I don't want that at all, everyone is equal to me. And it seemed to me that accepting such a surname was tantamount to self-importance. Then, while living in England, I realized that the word Queen has another meaning - "Cat mother". This meaning suited me much better than Queen. That's how I got along with that last name.
Then when I first met Linas teacher Roche at a ceremony, he gave Linas and me such an energetic crown (by the way, it's called "corona") for working with plants. It happened at night, while he was singing ikaro to us, and I didn't really understand what happened, but the feeling was beautiful and positive. And the next morning, they explained to us what that crown is - that it is a gift that will help us communicate with plants more easily, but it also has certain limitations - for 7 years you can't swim in salt water, use kambo and sit in the sun without covering your head for a long time. By the way, he also gave some instructions - that I would have to let Linas go into the jungle, etc. (when I had just let him go into that jungle anyway and there was no question of "not letting him go"). How angry I was. It seemed so silly to me that a stranger, whom I did not choose as my teacher (Linas chose), gave me some kind of crown without asking me first and with it some restrictions at the same time and then taught me something, as if I could not make decisions about my life. And even through this I felt really strongly the that crown was helping to support people in their processes, it had a conversation with Papa to finally let go of all the nonsense and just accept it as a gift.
Well, last year I got another crown for my birthday. Since I was a child, American Indians resonated with me, and for several years I have been looking at their headdresses on the Internet and drooling. Last year, on my birthday in England, Ieva gave me such an Indian headdress. At first I was happy, but I felt very uncomfortable wearing it, and then I read an article that there is some disrespect to the Indian culture when Westerners wear headdresses because they don't deserve them, etc. Well, it resonated with me and I put that headdress in the closet and didn't take it out again... Until this quarantine. When I put on that headdress while cleaning the house and I had so much fun, I cleaned the house with such a crown on my head.
And then I read channeled information from a soul whose last incarnation was an American Indian, where it was very nicely explained that it is very important that we do not mourn those wonderful civilizations that have had some sort of "accidents" because they happened so that certain information could spread and no longer be suppressed in secret places. And by accepting that information, we allow the natural evolution of the world to take place. Also, who knows, maybe in a past life I was an Indian and this is what my crown was, which is why I'm so drawn to it...
I realized that all those crowns are tools given to me for work. They are not some sign of self-importance. They are simply a tool that can be used in certain situations and like any tool they help. When I go to sing to people, I can connect more strongly with the plants by using the crown that Roche gave me. As I perform rituals, I can connect with the wisdom of my ancestors by wearing that Native American crown. And also when introducing myself to people, publicly telling some experiences or sharing information, I can use the Queen's surname. There is no danger of self-importance, just simply using the gifts of the universe so that I can more effectively broadcast information and energy that can help others.
By the way, after these realizations, I immediately got opportunities to explore these realizations. First I saw Agnieta's message, in which she asked those who could share stories of how they restored a relationship with close people with whom that relationship had been broken. I felt strongly that I wanted to share about my relationship with my mother. Only the first feeling was "maybe I can do it somehow anonymously?". Agnieta said that she would really like that authenticity when a person introduces himself with his name and adds a photo. I said that I need to feel here... But after a few hours I realized that if I want to draw inspiration not from the version of my past, where I had to hide from something, where I was afraid of my name and also the flashes of cameras, but from the version of the future, where all fears are released, I must introduce myself as Queen Victoria. And also feel free to share a photo. That's what I did. While working with plants, I experimented with concentrating on the crown of plants given by Roche (a very interesting sensation, I really feel her when I concentrate on her) while going to sing to others and explore how and when the sensations with the Indian crown given by Eve. I let go of that lack of approval and the fear that someone would think that I was self-important or that I was putting myself above someone. I realized that in reality I had limited my self-confidence so much because of the fear of self-importance, that I was really so far from imaginary self-importance that I would quicker get to the moon... In addition, no matter how I limited myself, there were people to whom I seemed to be self-important myself in one way or another... I decided that the most important thing is how I feel inside. Well, if I'm going to screw up and somehow cross the line of self-importance, Linas, I'll put you in charge of telling me when to get back down on the ground. :)
5/14/2020